Wedding season is upon us. For the bride and groom, it’s a long-awaited moment celebrated among kith and kin. For the rest of us, weddings can be an excuse for debauchery, fighting, crying, or going home with that cute groomsman (er, the married one). No one wants the big day to be remembered for the wrong reasons – so do everyone a favor and leave out the embarrassing frat party memory from the wedding toast, and focus on these tips to avoid the moniker of becoming that guest.

1. Don’t Choose Mr. Wrong

The intrigue of potential romantic action keeps wedding attendees on their toes. According to Sarah Haywood, an international wedding planner and author of Wedding Bible, likes it that way. “Statistically, weddings are a great place to meet someone,” she says. “There is often more than one public display of affection on a wedding evening out on the dance floor, and hooray for that.”

2. Get Clear On the Invites

It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of receiving a wedding invitation, so much that you may not realize that your extended kin are not invited: When you get an envelope addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it does not mean the same thing as Mr. and Mrs. Jon Smith and family. Sometimes, couples will return invitations with children added on the replies. This becomes very awkward conversation for the hosts.

3. Don’t Outshine the Couple

If Bridesmaids is any indication, it should be clear that leaving emotional baggage outside of a wedding is a good thing. According to Monica Delevaux, part owner and director at Haute Wedding, “creating a dynamic that deters from a carefree and happy flow to the bride and grooms’ day is selfish, inconsiderate, and a total faux pas,” she says.

“Remember that this wedding is one of the most important days in these two people’s lives, which you have come to celebrate and share,” says Vancouver-based event planer Alicia Keats. “They want you there, but they don’t want you bringing your issues to their day, which may unintentionally make their way to the surface with too much alcohol. Keep your drinking, sob stories, personal woes, and need for attention from other guests at bay.”

4. Unplug your device

Couples can spend thousands of dollars on a great photographer, and stepping in front of a photo shoot while you’re playing candy crush is just out of hand.

5. Stay Somewhat Sober

It goes without saying that 9 times out of 10, you’re going to at least approach a strong buzz at the reception – just don’t go crazy. Pace yourself: “One glass of booze, one glass of water” – that, should be your mantra. Bridesmaids that go out of their way to get embarrassingly drunk during the wedding reception live to regret it – make sure it isn’t you!

6. Dress Appropriately

A choice outfit is one that flatters your appearance and respects the couple on their big day. Go for elegant with a splash of sexy. Guests that disrespect this rule end up detracting from the event, and make other guests uncomfortable. Don’t take it upon yourself to ruin the bride and groom’s wish to celebrate with the people closest to them in a happy, carefree, and blissful manner.

7. Always Accommodate

Don’t be that guest who asks too many questions or makes too many demands. The bride and groom have way too much going on. If necessary, reach out to the wedding planner.

8. Don’t be a Flake

Flaking on someone’s wedding day is not just personally insulting, there is a financial consequence, as well. A bride and groom have fastidiously prepared for their wedding day, and that means paying for stationary, food, and possibly even accommodations for you – and, you didn’t show!

9. Keep your opinions to yourself

Alcohol has a funny way of removing prior inhibitions that otherwise prevent you from offering unsolicited advice. No doubt, the wedding has been prepared for exhaustively (notwithstanding your personal insights, of course). Do yourself a favor, and keep your “constructive criticism” to yourself.