– “Married sex sucks.”

-“All you need is love, silly.”

These and other myths are often perpetuated in our culture, but we at Forever Events know otherwise: you may discover that what you know about marriage is more fiction than fact!

1. All you need is love.

“Love is great, but it is not enough,” says Doares. “Most couples get married because they love each other and believe that everything will just work out. But marriage is unlike any other relationship you will ever be a part of, and there are skills you can learn that will help keep you love alive and growing.”

Marriages take a lot of compromise and hard work, and unfortunately love is not always enough to keep a couple together. Couples should have serious conversations about kids, religious beliefs, etc. before entering into a marriage.

2. Disagreements will never happen.

Disagreements are part of the thread of a healthy marriage, but there is a difference between having an argument and having a fight, “A fight is characterized by harsh words and raised voices, and I don’t know anyone who feels good after one,” Doares says. “No matter how much you sincerely apologize, your partner can never un-hear the words you spoke or un-experience the tone you used. A fight will always damage the relationship and requires lots of positive interactions to compensate for it.”

3. Marriage is the death of sex.

You think your single friends are the one getting laid most often? Don’t be so sure. “The truth of the matter is that married couples have sex more often than single people,” says Lesli Doares, marriage coach and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage. Not only do married couples get down more often, “but research also suggests that their sex is also more enjoyable. This is because they have the time to really develop trust that allows them to be more open about their desires and what feels good.”

4. Having sex with the same person for the rest of your life is boring.

There’s a belief that sex with your spouse gets boring over time. But Doares counters the popular assertion, “people’s bodies and desires don’t stay the same over time, so sex changes too. This actually allows for more experimentation to find what will work at that point in time.”

5. A loving partner intuitively know all your feelings and needs.

Not all spouses are psychic, and believing otherwise can pose significant strain on your relationship. According to Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach, those who buy into it often find it “leads to a breakdown in communication with the wronged partner furious with their spouse who obviously doesn’t love or care that much for them,” she says. “Somehow the idea that they should share what it is they feel or need can lead to a lot of anger and resentment towards this clueless or insensitive spouse.”

Communication is one of the most important aspects of making a relationship work. Holding in feelings and not expressing things that make you upset right away can lead to a huge blowout fight later.

6. Marriage is about making each other happy.

Despite what anyone tells you, it’s not your partner’s job to make you happy. “Happiness is an inside job,” Doares says. “No one, not even your spouse, has the ability to make you happy. What studies show is that your happiness increases as you do things for other people. So the reverse is really true: You become happier when you do positive things for your partner. It’s a side effect of your focusing on each other.”

7. Happily ever after is only for fairy tales.

Fairytales do happen. “The commonly accepted rate of divorce is 50 percent, and this gives the impression that the chance of success for every marriage is no better than a coin toss,” says Doares. But the actual divorce rate is slightly less than 50 percent, and even better odds are afforded to couples with certain ages, levels of education, and socio-economic statuses, she says. “In addition, there are skills a couple can learn and tools they can use to not just have a marriage that lasts a long time but one that is actually happy,” Doares says.

Forever Events provides luxury event planning services throughout South Florida. Whether it be a destination wedding, a corporate event, or a larger than life birthday party, Lisi Korn and her team have you covered! Contact us here.